Grow Up!

Don’t fight like kids. Stop acting like a child. You are grown up now; behave like one. Kids are so cute and innocent. When will I grow up? Why did I even grow up? We are always puzzled between these thoughts and always try to find answers for our situation by analysing our maturity and equating it to grown up behaviour.  Are we doing the right thing by believing that grown-ups always do the right thing? Then why are there so many issues in the grown up society if grown-ups know what is right and wrong?

ADULTS:
A – Arrogance and Affection
D – Desire and  Delusion
U – Understanding and Unbelievable
L – Loveable and  Lonely
T – Thoughtful and Tactful
S – Sensitive and Selfish

         We are everything and yet nothing. Being an adult is a fantasy for a child and reliving childhood is a dream of an adult. We all have a chaotic life with so many aspects to be worried about, so many responsibilities, stress, frustration, anger, anxiety and what not. Our mornings start with not just one question but a pandora box of only questions which we have to answer whether we like it or not. Amidst all this when a kid is happily playing with sand by throwing it all over and drowning himself in it and even eating it, as a parent we tend to scream: “what are you doing? Don’t you know its not hygiene. When will you grow up?” After few years when the same kid loses money or some of his stuff and returns back home, parents again say: “grow up! When will you stop being careless. Its high time.” Few more years later when the kid is finally reaching college something upsets parents and they say when will you grow up? Now the kid becomes an adult and joins a job. After couple of years when there is a mistake in his work, his supervisor comes and tells, “grow up! You are no longer a new joinee, start behaving with responsibility.” Next phase of life kicks in, that kid is now married and has his own kid, still he is being asked to grow up by one or the other person in his life. In every scenario, the only thing expected is to grow up! So what does “Grow Up!” actually mean and how do we do that?

According to grown-ups, maturity comes with age, expecting sensible behaviour from a child is foolishness, understanding the situation and handling it with dignity comes with experience. Then how come we see prolonged arguments, fights, domestic violence, property dispute and many more such societal discord happening only because of grown-ups? Can we really define what does grow up mean?

When you enter a kindergarten class, you will see some kids exploring the environment, others observing, some crying, some playing but very rarely we see kids hurting each other intentionally and comparing themselves and feeling bad for what they have and what they are. They learn to adjust, compromise, help, respect, acknowledge, appreciate, be kind, enjoy, care and value each other. They absorb what they can and what they like, ignore what doesn’t make sense to them, voice their request without hidden agenda, cry if they don’t like something, laugh when they are happy, love everyone wholeheartedly, and forgive each other when they have to do so. Every new day is a fresh start with a background of positivity and a carpet to clean footsteps of negativity.  They grow each day learning everything new. During this journey, they start growing up. Everything they started with starts being replaced by adults qualities which adulterates their behaviour which we miss to see because that is the process of growing up. If you remain innocent you will be fooled; if you trust people too easily you will be cheated; if you respect everyone, no one will respect you; if you forgive others, people will take you for granted.

My father shared a message with my daughter at her teen birthday and he told: “you can’t be good unless, you know what bad is so that you can be away from bad. Good and bad are two sides of the same coin and it is important to know both these sides.” Growing up is the process of learning what both these sides behold. When we are told to grow up,  the meaning is to lead life: Gracefully, be Resilient, Optimistic, Watchful, Understanding and Polite(GROW-UP). Learning should always add on to our existing knowledge but we tend to forget what we know and catch up on new things. The innocence as a kid, the truthfulness and humbleness as a child are the key to express ourselves as adults. Learning to communicate and knowing to talk are just like the good and bad sides of the same coin. We all know to talk but rarely we make right use of that knowledge. Relationship builds on the foundation of communication. Being a grown individual doesn’t give us the liberty to talk.
         Grow up by nurturing the good you already have.
         Grow up by observing the bad and understanding the difference between the two.
         Grow up not because you will always be right.
         Grow up not because you can blame others to be wrong.

Very basic definition of growing up is adding one new candle to our birthday cake every year. Initially that day brings a lot of happiness but slowly people start equating birthday to growing old. We often hear people saying what to celebrate, I am becoming old? Have you given a thought that we always wanted to enjoy that day as a kid but what changed over the years that even the special day started feeling like a date in a calendar? Instead of adding an additional candle we started developing a feeling of old-age. We not only miss being young but we also started to forget the beauty and happiness that day brought into our life. As I mentioned earlier the qualities present in a kindergarten kid starts vanishing as they grow up. Similarly the happiness of celebrating birthday and growing up is also vanishing in adult life.

Grow Up! Should mean we make ourselves better than yesterday. It should bring maturity but with compassion and empathy. Growing up is not a power, it is a process. Embrace it with what you have and never replace it with what you get.

       Grow up should always make our life and the society a
  GRACEFUL place to live which still cherishes the innocence of a kid along with adult.
It should always RECREATE  beauty while it reconnects with past and present.
         It should always OBSERVE  the surroundings while it absorbs the good.
         It should always WITHHOLD  the good while it identifies the bad.
         It should always UNDERSTAND  the better while it unfolds the best for you.
         It should always PRESERVE  the  beauty while it presents you with a new perception which helps you change your perspective for a better you every single day…