A Perfect Match

Do you know what is a “matching center”? It is a small shop which has multiple shades of each color stacked with varieties of materials. It used to be one stop shop for buying blouse pieces for saris in olden days. There was a time when women had to buy matching pieces of cloth for their new saris to stitch blouses. Regular wear saris would not come with a matching blouse. Then time changed and fashion industry introduced contrast and now we wear mix & match. When we look for a match here usually there are only few aspects we match like color, texture or quality. We don’t look for something similar. For example, sari is matched with blouse piece, a top is matched with a pant, an over coat is matched with a dress and so on. We don’t search for a sari to match with another sari. The very thought of this makes you laugh at my thinking. Now when it comes to relationships why do we have this thought that my partner and me should be similar and if we have nothing in common, how can we be compatible? Can my perception about matching be applicable with relationships too? How can this perception give you a different perspective? Find out more as you read further.

When I was in school, I was introduced to a concept in mathematics called: “similar triangle”. It meant two triangles which were a look like with identical properties, more like a xerox are called similar triangles. When it comes to finding a life partner, we all tend to find that “similar nature” in the other person to consider them to be a “perfect match”. We look for a person who has a lot of similar interests, similar taste, similar nature so we feel it will be easy to mingle. We always think I will enjoy time with a person who is like me. But have we thought how much time do we actually spend with ourselves? Most of us don’t know our own self because we are so busy running in the race of life, we forgot to get acquainted with our own personality. So why are we running behind finding a match to fit that unknown self of ours? Sometimes when we actually see our reflection in others, we don’t like it. Irony of life is we love ourselves as long as we know that it is only me with that personality. As soon as we see our personality with someone else we start analyzing, justifying and judging the person and his behavior which makes love vanish. Then what is a perfect match or compatibility in a relationship?

Relationship is just like stitching. It involves  two people who are like the cloth and the thread. Sometimes we use matching thread and sometimes a different color but cloth and thread always have their own distinct nature and identity. A thin strand of thread can hold a vast, heavy or even a delicate piece of cloth if the stitch is put at the right place with proper precision. That is the beauty of any relationship. Two distinct personalities will have the capacity to hold each other together during the journey of life. Life throws happy, sad, angry, disappointment, excitement, frustration, anxiety and various emotional turmoil at every step. We can survive this journey only when we have a partner who has the capacity to become that stitch when the cloth needs it. We humans are capable of interchanging our role as cloth and thread. But if we think our perfect match should always look similar to me, then it will be like having two pieces of cloth or two reels of thread paired together. None of them know what to do when they are together.

Marriage is like that needle in our life which helps us make a beautiful creation from the cloth and thread we find in life. Yes, it pricks if not handled carefully but once you learn to use it, there is no match to the beauty it can fill in your life. We all need alterations in our life, some loosening by removing a stitch, some tightening when we lose grip, some darning when we get worn out, some embroidery to beautify the presentation, some knots to hold the stitch tight but when we learn the importance of all this is when our relationship becomes stronger and lasts forever.

Our search for a perfect match may take us through the journey which pleases us when we find the result but the realization of not being able to use the pile of cloth or the reels of thread comes only when we need to stitch something. It is our responsibility to make our life beautiful when we find that reel of thread when we always went in search of another piece of matching cloth.

Every cloth is made with strings of thread and every thread is used to make that cloth into a beautiful garment. Each couple has the capacity to do this in their life. It is just a matter of time which is required to understand the worth of that person in your life. Use the needle to stitch something so beautiful that every time you look at it you feel proud of your own creation. Finding a perfect match is not what makes a marriage “made in heaven”. Knowing how to enjoy what we have in our life makes the marriage perfect. Don’t pull the strings of the cloth to be a thread again and don’t convert the thread into a piece of cloth. Each individual has a purpose and identity. Respect them for what they are and utilize them with what they are best at.

When a needle pricks don’t assume the pain to be an accident. At times it pricks to avoid accidents too. A stitch at a place where the cloth is about to tear, ensures the damage is under control. Allow your partner to put that stitch because sometimes we can’t see that damage until it rips us apart. Handle your needle with care. You will always need it to keep the cloth and the thread active. Don’t put it away thinking it is safe untouched. Every marriage needs a pinch of romance from time to time so the needle don’t rust.

Unveil your creativity with a creation unmatched and admire the beauty which you never imagined to exit within you.