Age is NOT Just a Number.

Humans give birth to a baby after 9months of conceiving. Every development has a timeline. After birth each milestone should be age appropriate. We expect in 3months, the baby turns around, then crawl, sit, stand and walk all within a year. Every development is associated with a number. Growth is another concept which keeps its pace with change. After all the development which happened within a year of childbirth, next level starts. Expectation to talk, learn various languages, exhibit talent in front of society, school, college, job, marriage, parent, retirement, old-age and death. Each and every milestone is associated with that one number called Age. Then why is it just a number? Age is NOT just a number. There is a lot more to that number which we love to ignore.

Adults in current time say kids are growing faster than their age but do kids know what do they mean? There is a relative comparison which we do when we have that thought: When I was 10yrs, I only knew this but look at you, internet has given access to so much that you behave like an adult. The kid compares himself with his peers and thinks: I am not upto my age because my friends talk so much which I am unaware of, how do I catch up? All these are closely associated with that one number which is initially celebrated for increasing, then regretted for growing old and later rephrased saying: “I am young at heart”.

One day my husband’s niece asked him: “you are younger than my father then how am I younger than your daughter?” Everyone around there laughed at her question but that is a simple math an 8yr old did. Math is easy at that age for we adults when we think. But at 8 she would have put a lot of thought before coming up with that calculation. During growing days, we have categories in every competition which says under 6, under 10, under 14 etc. People like me born in April are either a year older or a year younger in the class. My mother always felt in any competition I would have come first instead of second because I competed with kids older than me. And still, we say “Age is just a number”.

After all these years of having high importance to that number, we enter a special phase which starts from around 21yrs and probably never ends while you are alive where this number just vanishes. During this phase, we admire people, aspire new goals, secretly analyse and also calculate others’ age and make our own judgments and conclusions. One most important aspect in all these years we forget is our mental wear and tear. Recently a Dr told me I must take calcium supplements and it sounds absolutely normal, but have we given a thought about what does our mind need? Do we consult any Dr to identify the deficiency we have as we grow in our psychological wellbeing?

Our life is a nonstop movie where all the scenes past, present and future keeps running like a reel in our mind. Where do we get the energy to keep it running? What happens when this reel gets stuck or corrupted? When you talk to old-aged people they complain about problem in walking, unable to see, sometimes even to hear, issue remembering things etc. We ignore most of these and tag them saying age related issues. No one cares to address these because most of us are ignorant that psychological issues which crepe into our life at old age can be treated just like any other physical ailment.

Mind is one such area in our life which is very conveniently consider tangible and intangible based on the situation. We think all through our lives, some good, some bad, some happy, some stressful etc. all originate from within us and are part of our personality. We hesitate to reach out to help when in problem because it is not considered as another specialization in medical field just like any ENT, orthopedic or cardiology. This is one field where the whole society is a specialist. We often listen to people using terminology like depression, anxiety etc. If mental health comprised of only these few terminologies, I don’t think psychology as a stream of medicine would ever exist. If we break our bone, we clearly know to say an x-ray will show the problem and doctor will put the cast to rectify it and few weeks of rest until recovery. But when our heart/mind is hurt we always hear people saying: “Time will heal” or “if your mind gets diverted you will feel better” or “stop thinking about what happened, you have to move on” etc. I am interested to learn this talent of STOP THINKING. How do we do that?

We don’t go to doctor when we trip and fall and there is a bruise, but we do go when there is something major and we are unable to identify. The same works with mental health. We do have capacity to recover when our mind has a bruise but when it is a fracture, we definitely need medical help. Please don’t hesitate to seek help. It is important to understand that we are important and above the stigma associated with mental health.

My friend is a dentist, and she tells me about which specialisation treats what issue and I am clueless when she names them. Similarly, I thought a psychiatrist is just the same for all until I met a parent in my daughter’s school who became my friend. I casually asked her something and she told me she is a geriatric psychiatrist and only treats old people. It was an eye opener for me to know that only learning about old age problems is a specialisation. So imagine the help they can provide when you reach out to them.

Age is not a number. Age is the way of living. It defines your lifestyle; it dictates your ability to live. We say our current generation has easy access to information. But has this information helped us gain knowledge which helps us make our living better? We have access to the whole world in our fingertips but are we utilising it to our benefit or only to mark our presence in any public conversations? Current time has encouraged us to be a closed book and always have a fancy cover on it for the world to see. It is because of this change, understanding the importance of taking care of our mental health or reaching out to the right source for help becomes even more crucial. We need an ear who don’t judge us, we need the eyes who can see the pain we are in, and we need the heart and mind who can direct us in the right direction. Do not hesitate to lend help. Your first step begins with acceptance and next step is to show the society the difference once you accept the reality.

See the change, Seek the change and be the change is not just a slogan it is the way we live our age.
Every number has a significance
Every age has a need.
Every thoughtful need has a soul.

Open your eyes to see that need. Listen with your heart to reciprocate. Blend with your mind to understand. Age speaks volumes. Don’t ignore it just like a number. When a worn-out knee can be replaced, a worn-out mind also has a way to blossom again. Don’t shut that door which opens towards sunshine. Pack the stigma in a box away from the society and open the beautiful gift wrap your life unfolds. Move a step forward towards acceptance of mental health. Your age demands care of your mental health too. Not always ignorance is a bliss.