When the Time is Right

Choices and Decisions are two things which drives every individual to think: “I will choose the right thing and make the right decision when the time is right”. The irony here is time waits for none and either we choose or don’t and decide or not, time delivers what it is destined to do. So why do we wait for the right time? Or is there something called as the “Right Time”?

My mother always told me to do the right thing. Doing right means standing up against wrong also. When you do right in life, time automatically becomes right. Parenting is a lifelong activity. It doesn’t mean only teaching our kids to become human, it also means showing parents that when their kids become parents, they remember to remain human towards both generations.

When my daughter was 2½ years old, she suddenly developed a habit of pushing smaller kids. She was ignorant of the repercussion and we as parents did not know how to stop this. One day in a family function, she did the same and my brother-in-law scolded her at the function immediately when she did that for a baby dancing in the dance floor. That was the last she ever did that to any other kid. Now when I tell her this she laughs at the story. That day my brother-in-law did the right thing. He did not wait for the right time. He saw his niece doing wrong and stood up to it without thinking about the place, people around or anything else. I don’t know what that young mind felt at that moment but today when I think of that incident, I can say my daughter knows if she is wrong her loved ones will not wait for the right time to correct her.

Mothers always feel punishing the child is father’s job. But mistakes don’t wait for anyone. So why should mothers wait for fathers to come and correct the mistakes? Intensity of pain is more when we are hurt not when we wait for time to heal it. There is a sense of insecurity within everyone which stops us from standing up to the wrong. Nurturing the child with right values and principles is every parent’s responsibility. There should not be a favourite among mother and father. Most of us are very fond of asking this question to a child: “who is your favourite: Mummy or daddy?” and if there is no convincing answer next one comes. “Who scolds you more? Parents are not competing with each other for the child to give them a prize. Parents win as a team or lose as a team based on whether the child developed humanity within him or not.

Waiting for the right time to guide your child going in the wrong direction is like allowing him to get lost in his journey. We all would have come across situations where kids behave differently infornt of guests. It’s a common scenario when you go to someone’s house and say “no, my child doesn’t eat this” and immediately the child picks it up and starts eating with lot of joy. As a parent you will be stunned when it happens for the first time but later you get used to it and make your protection and say: “he/she eats everything when we go to someone else’s house”. One reason for kids to behave differently in public places is because they know parents don’t want to feel insulted in their circle so they will wait for the right time to address their wrong behaviour and before that “right time” has arrived, I can do whatever I want to do. So we as parents are unknowingly telling the kid that you can do anything wrong if you know that parents don’t have the right time to correct you.

Time is always right when you want to do the right thing. It is about your action which should have the right spirit to display, Humiliation, insult and disrespect are the key aspects which makes you fear about your surroundings and forces you to wait for the right time. Don’t think “let them enjoy now. Once he/she is home, I will see to it that this behaviour won’t repeat. This thought is actually an encouragement for your kid to go in the wrong path. Unknowingly you are encouraging him to do something wrong at a place where you think you cannot display your authority.

Parents are responsible to display the right behaviour which becomes a role model for kids to see, learn and imbibe within them. Correcting your kid’s mistake is the right thing to do. But the key here is, we have to do it the right way. Waiting for the right time doesn’t make the wrong, as right. So always do the right thing in the right way only then time becomes right.

Speak to your kids with respect. Even when they are throwing tantrums at a public place, have patience and develop empathy. Every behaviour a child exhibits will have a reason. Your child needs your understanding. “My child is important for me but my image is more important”, this thought makes you wait for the right time. Our entire society comes in as a judge when something goes wrong. Don’t be part of that society when your kid needs you the most. Your acknowledgement of their behaviour, your disapproval of their attitude and your support to help them correct their mistakes and see in the right direction is what makes them learn the difference between right and wrong. Protecting your kid doesn’t mean standing up to the world for them, protecting your kids means making them capable enough to identify right and help them to stand up for wrong and build the confidence in them that they can blindly believe you are right behind them when they are right without having to look back to see your presence.

Situation doesn’t decide what is right.
Surroundings doesn’t define what is right.
Time doesn’t choose what is right.

It is the values and principles that guide you and tells you time is always right if you are doing the right thing in the right way.