Who am I…

How comfortable are you expressing and accepting an emotion which you believe is not right?

When we define a person, we draw a boundary. Good qualities stay within the boundary and anything which is not acceptable by our society stays outside. Major bias starts with gender. So the very first quality of human being which differentiates man from animal is also judged i.e., smile. Sometimes these bias rules our subconscious mind and dictate our behavior. Are we free to smile at anyone or laugh at anything? The very question of accepting our emotions starts here. Think about this: If I feel like smiling at the clouds, will I do that or will I first think who is looking at me, what will they think and if they ask anything what should I answer? When a simple smile can become such a complex thought process, do you really know who you are? Have you accepted yourself or are you only living for the society to accept you within its boundary?

Sometimes my emotions are not what is expected out of me. So do I ignore them or accept them? Denial of my emotions leads to dissatisfaction and lack of self-worth. If a woman  feels tired taking care of her own kid, it is absolutely fine. But we are not allowed to accept this which develops frustration. Expressing your feeling gives acceptance and helps you to channelize the emotion. When we deny our emotions, we start expecting our loved ones to identify, understand and help us overcome that. But if I am not letting myself identify my emotion, expecting someone else to do that for me is a burden we put on our relationship. If I am angry with my spouse for not helping me with my house chores, the solution lies in asking for help. We gain nothing by keeping quite and doing everything and taunting at the end of the day. Learn to listen to yourself and then expect others to understand you. The more I understand myself I will be able to help my loved ones understand me. The more we allow the society to define rules for ourselves, the more we deviate from knowing ourselves . It is we who form the society and not the society forming us.

Expression of emotion doesn’t mean arrogance. Denial and fear of being judged brings out arrogance. If you accept yourself with everything you have, it is easy to let others see what you are and also allow love accept and bloom any relationship.

Presenting yourself within the society norms is different than accepting yourself within those norms. Understanding the real you is a gift you give yourself and accepting yourself is a gift you give your loved ones. Be the person you are and help others see it with dignity, love and respect.

I am who I am.