Hold My Hand

Actions speak louder than words.
   Touch Speaks louder than actions.
When a parent says: “hold my hand”, there is a sense of protection. When a partner says: “hold my hand”, there is a sense of belonging. When an elderly person says: “hold my hand”, there is a sense of safety. Every phase of life defines a different meaning for just holding hand. But how soulfully that meaning transports itself is only felt by the touch which is louder than the action.

One day, a 2year old naughty little girl opened the front door of the house and ran right into the road. A biker had to apply sudden brake to avoid the accident. He was angry at her grandmother who came running behind the girl for not holding the kid’s hand. When all were safe, grandmother who was still scared about the incident told the girl why can’t you listen to me and hold my hand? It is dangerous out there. That was my daughter and mother. Kids love their freedom to run around places. They feel holding hand is restricting them. Adults prioritize their safety and insist on holding hands. When the same kid wants to hold onto the hand while being dropped to school, parents ask them to leave their hand and walk the path alone. It might be very confusing to the young mind because we never explain the difference of both the scenarios. May be that is the reason most of the time, kids don’t share what they feel with parents because we started off the relationship by not sharing with each other. Hold my hand is a two-way street because only when both involved in the action reciprocate, the action speaks louder, else it only becomes an instruction. As humans we always tend to either give or follow instructions and hence, we never notice the difference between: “hold my hand” and “Let’s hold hands”.

Kids need hand holding but they believe to outgrow that age faster than time wants. When they reach teenage and adulthood, they want to hold hands with someone whom they want to emotionally connect. We see couples holding hands and walking, giving the world the sense of their relationship. Present generation considers walking only as an exercise and hence taking a stroll is not a common scene we witness lately. But when we see someone holding hand, do we value the beauty of the relationship, or do we consider it to be PDA (Public Display of Affection)?

Ever since childhood, “hold my hand” has been only communicated as an instruction which we love to disobey because that instruction obstructs freedom. We unknowingly make the weaker party involved feel like we want to control them by holding their hand. Even in marriage, when the bride’s hand is handed over to the groom, the main expectation is for the groom to take care of the bride. So the groom always feels he is responsible for safety, happiness, comfort, security and so on in the bride’s life. He feels, he has to provide everything to his wife and the girl believes that she is always at the receiving end and has to respect her husband for all what he does to make her life a dreamland. What are we missing here? We forgot to say: “lets hold hand” which means we both are in this relationship together. If I am your responsibility, you are mine too. If my safety, happiness, comfort, security is your responsibility, then they are mine too because if only the husband keeps giving and wife only receives then there is no balance in life. If husband contributes to make his wife’s life better, then wife has equal role to play.

My husband loves his camera and see me smile through his lens. During my family functions, he makes my whole family smile to his clicks. He enjoys that because he knows it brings me joy. In return what does he get? It’s the same love which he showers on me is showered multiple times on him by all my family when they stand infront of his lens. It is mutual but not communicated explicitly. My family smiles at his clicks and love my husband because they know my smile doesn’t vanish when his camera shuts off. This is the gift he received because we hold each other’s hand and never ask for “hold my hand” alone.

Age changes the meaning of every touch. So does the statement “hold my hand”. With kids we ask, demand, command, and sometimes request to hold hand. With spouse, we expect, accept, admit and sometimes request to hold hand. What happens when we grow old? Life changes its course and once given as an instruction comes back into our life like a need. What we learn throughout our life at times gives us no answers when needed because old age is a syllabus which is never taught. We all say all kids are unique, but do we also say all elderly people are unique too? No, we term them under a generic category where we assume that as people grow old, grey hair increases, they have bad eyesight, loss of memory, knee pain etc. But while we generalize their problems, do we generalize the love and care they need too? We usually forget that they too love when we hold their hand. Even at that age, touch speaks louder than action. They may not command, demand or even request because their love towards us is way too beyond their own problems. Their eyesight might be weak, and memory might be fading but they will always know what troubles their kids and how can they help to avoid it. At that age even when they want, they hesitate to say: “hold my hand”. Then it becomes our responsibility to make sure we hold their hand even before that thought skips a beat in their heart. They taught us to hold each other’s hands and it’s time to show them that we did get the best teachers in life.

               Hold my hand, I will protect you.
               Hold my hand, I will guide you.
               Hold my hand, you are my responsibility.
               Hold my hand, I will take care of you.

We learnt and lived our life with every action speaking its words, but we missed communicating the intent behind all those actions which sprouted through emotions. Its time to share what we feel before telling what to do. Let’s spread love and build bond that holds each other to touch every relationship and make the actions speak for itself which can be melody to reach the heart.

               Let’s hold hand to safeguard each other’s smile.
               Let’s hold hand to protect each other’s love.
               Let’s hold hand to help each other care.
               Let’s hold hand to live the life we gifted each other.