Are You Ready?

When we plan a vacation, we start packing and preparing. We are ready before we start our journey. When exam time-table is handed over, we wont be ready until the last minute before we enter the examination hall .These are instances where we know what’s coming our way but still there are surprises like bad weather, out of syllabus questions etc. How about various phases of life? I knew I had to send my daughter to school after few years and I had to be prepared for that. But the day I dropped her at the school, I came home and cried. Not because she was crying as I was expecting since I never liked going to school but because she was happy to spend time with strangers, kids and new toys away from me for the very first time. Even though I was prepared for this new phase and may be eagerly waiting too, but things turned out to be unexpected. I did not plan to cry. I planned to spend those couple of hours of my baby being away from me to do things which I was otherwise complaining about saying “I don’t get time because I take care of the baby whole day”. Instead I did nothing but was only thinking what happened at the playschool and when will the clock strike 11:00am so that I can go to pick up my kid. Slowly all this became a routine and we start getting used to this change which eventually becomes the new normal until the next phase strikes.

Next major phase starts when kids plan for higher studies or job. Now kids become adults and parents remain as parents. A parent’s life starts with planning and picturizing their kids future. When kid steps into their future, there is a vacuum in parent’s life. Again here we plan and prepare but when that happens, it feels like we are not ready. The best part of life is, it never halts and so with passing time we get used to the change. As a parent, I get a little more time for myself now. All the things which I kept pushing into future saying I will do then when I have time, when my responsibility as a parent reduces, when I am alone, when I find my “me” time etc., will be still lying in the future. My dad always used a quote: “Tomorrow is a day when everyone’s dream comes true but tomorrow is a day which will never come in life”.

I recently saw a  picture of my daughter sitting on the ground and putting sand on herself and playing. She was so happy messing her clothes but I can never understand what was giving her that joy.  Now she is 12 and she herself is wondering why was she doing that. Pleasure of doing things at the time we like doing them fuels our life with enthusiasm to live another day. Be ready to feel that positivity and don’t wait for time to come to you. Make time to live.

After your responsibility of securing your kid’s future with their studies, job and marriage, the new major phase of like knocks at your door: Retirement. Are you ready?
You are prepared because everyone knows after a certain age you retire from work. Just like how a 2.5yr old starts pre-school, 18yr old goes to college, 22yr old goes to work, a 60yr old comes back home. All phases of life gave us space but this phase invaded that space to which we were used to. When my dad retired, he had to find his meaning of life at home and it also meant my mom had to start accepting his presence all through the day. There was no time when my mom could talk to her friends in her space. The first day when I called her after dad’s retirement, I felt like I called at the wrong time. I also felt like telling, “okay, I will call you later” but suddenly realized there cannot be a later because this is the new phase where if I have to talk to her, it will always be when dad is at home. Initially it was strange because I was not ready but then I had to prepare myself for this change. Housewives find a lot harder to be prepared for this phase as they are never ready. Two extremes of life are when kid leaves the house to start an independent life and spouse returning back to house to never leave it and start a new phase of companionship.

We all prepare for every phase of life but we forget what comes with that is unknown. Life is made out of unexperienced experiences and being prepared to experience those experiences is just a plan to get ready. Every moment of life is special. Don’t wait to get ready to experience it. May be by the time we prepare to get ready, we are missing something. Do not push your dreams to future because your future might want to dream about your past. Whether you are ready or not life still happens.